<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>I wish you could fall in love with me by tfm</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26441743">I wish you could fall in love with me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/tfm/pseuds/tfm'>tfm</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Post-Ep Fics [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Critical Role (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, First Dates, Mutual Pining, Requited Love</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 05:15:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,099</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26441743</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/tfm/pseuds/tfm</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Jester takes matters into her own hands.</p><p> </p><p>Or, Beau and Yasha have dinner together. Things are discussed.</p><p> </p><p>Post episode 109.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Beauregard Lionett/Yasha</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Post-Ep Fics [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1870387</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>224</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I wish you could fall in love with me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="western">I wish you could fall in love with me</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">The trip back to Nicodranas was quiet.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Caleb had withdrawn into himself, giving no indication whether he intended for them to accept Ikithon's invitation, or even if he intended to respond.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">The moment he said the word, Beau was certain that every single member of the Nein, save perhaps Caduceus, would drop everything to commit murder on Caleb's behalf. Caduceus...well, he could be frustratingly stubborn at times, but Beau was pretty sure once he saw what an utter, creepy douche-bag Trent Ikithon was, he would come around.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Beau felt much more comfortable about the idea of spending the night in a city that wasn't filled with the most morally repugnant people she'd ever had the misfortune to meet, and given some of the assholes she'd met, that was saying something.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Yussa, at least, probably wasn't spying on them. She fucking hoped he wasn't spying on them. In all honesty, he seemed to care very little for what they actually did, unless it benefited him. He ushered the Nein out of his tower quickly, apparently perturbed at his studies having been interrupted for the second time in as many days. Beau would have thought he might have still harbored an ounce of gratitude for the fact that they had saved his life.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">The Lavish Chateau was just as they had left it. Beau went upstairs to her (very fucking fancy) room, and dumped her things there. She had been stretched out on the bed for about twenty minutes, thinking, before she heard the knock on the door.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">'Come in,' she called out, maybe hoping a little bit that it would be Yasha.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Beau was maybe a little bit disappointed to see Jester. The tiefling was clearly thrilled to be here, even though it had been barely a few hours since they'd left the Chateau. Rexxentrum was kind of draining in that way.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">'We are going to have a fancy dinner!' Jester told Beau, excitedly. 'I spoke to Carlos, and he said he would make sure that the kitchens made some <em>really</em> nice food.'</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">'Oh, nice.' Beau always did like the fancy meals that they got at the Lavish Chateau. Though probably the same level of extravagance, they were somehow much nicer, much more comfortable than any dinner that she'd ever eaten in her own home, back in Kamordah. At least here, people weren't judging her whenever they looked at her, making snide comments about her hair, or what she'd done that day. Okay, well maybe sometimes they would do that, but it was usually out of love, rather than disdain.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">The rest of the afternoon passed sort of lazily. Beau went down to the beach with her journal, and did some thinking, and some meditating. She was still sort of mulling over some of the things that Vess DeRogna had said, and the promises she had made. Beau didn't think for a second that the mage would be willing to hand over a single iota of what they found over to the Cobalt Soul. Perhaps when they returned to Rexxentrum, Beau would have another chat with Yudala Fon.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">At around five, Beau returned to the Chateau to get ready. Jester had said six o'clock, but Beau wanted to wash all the sand from her body, and make sure that she looked at least a little bit presentable.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Jester had said to dress up, so Beau assumed that meant to wear her single formal outfit, the charcoal gray suit, and blue ascot. Just for fun, she put her Expositor's robes over the top, and did her hair to show off the Circlet. Seeing herself in the mirror, she almost looked...respectable. A year ago....fuck, even six months ago, that would have been something so foreign, so outlandish that old!Beau would have scoffed at the thought.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Of course, she wasn't <em>entirely</em> respectable. She did have fifty gold (or maybe thirty-five gold, now that it had been distributed) worth of illegal fireworks in the bag of holding, plus a couple of those Oops Stones, and a veritable fuckton of ball bearings, best used in shenanigans. No-one would be naming her High Curator any time soon, that was for sure.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">At five to six, Beau made her way down to the second floor, intrigued by the fact that she didn't see any of the rest of the group running around with unbuttoned shirts, waiting to use the washroom. The reason for that, though, became very quickly clear when Beau reached the door to the private dining room.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">She felt a sort of ping inside her head, followed by a message from Jester. '<em>Hey Beau, there's been a change of plans. We are all having dinner at the fish market, and you and Yasha are going to have—'</em> The message cut off there, but Beau didn't need to hear it to know exactly what Jester had planned.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">'Hey Jester, what the fuck—' Beau started to say, but stopped, when she heard footsteps, and turned. Whatever words were in her throat faltered at the sight in front of her.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Yasha was, in a word, gorgeous. Not that that was anything new. She was wearing that same black dress that Jester had bought her, and black strapped sandals that wound their way up her calf. Her hair had been brushed, and put into new braids. Beau couldn't help but stare. 'Fjord said to dress nicely.'</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">That fucker was in on this too. In fact, all of the Mighty Nein probably were. Beau wasn't sure whether she should be angry or impressed. Maybe a little bit of both.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">'You look amazing,' Beau breathed. She wasn't sure whether or not it was her imagination, but a flush of red spread from Yasha's cheeks down her neck, down....lower.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">'You do as well. It is a....it is a very nice suit.' Beau jumped slightly as Yasha put a hand to her arm, and brushed against the material.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">'I...yeah, I mean...you...thanks.' Very smooth, Beauregard.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Yasha looked at the closed wooden door behind Beau. 'Is no-one else here yet? Should I go and get Jester?'</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">'Ah...no, we got punked.' Beau pushed open the door, a little unsure of what she might find. Jester was almost certainly the sort of person that would have just put a bed in there, along with candles, and maybe some suggestive material for them to get ideas, but if Fjord had been involved, then he probably would have put a pin in that. 'They're all at the fish market, apparently.'</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">It was surprising tasteful. There were candles, but they were softly lighting up a single table and two chairs, each set for dinner. Beau didn't let her eyes linger, because she was far more interested in what Yasha's reaction would be. Because Beau had talked to Fjord and to Jester about this, but Yasha....</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">If Yasha was confused, then that meant she didn't see Beau in that sort of way at all. That she couldn't think why the two of them might want to have a romantic, candlelit dinner alone.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">She didn't look confused. She looked...maybe a little surprised, or nervous, or maybe, like Beau, a mix of a few different emotions. Trepidation, at the very least. 'Oh,' she said. That “Oh” could have meant so many things, could have meant “oh, wow, this is going to be awkward” or “oh, Beau, Ii really don't see you that way” and Beau couldn't let herself ask, because if she asked, then she would find out the answer. At least this way, she had the control of not knowing.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">'Caduceus,' Yasha seemed to murmur under her breath, and <em>that</em> surprised Beau. She hadn't thought that this sort of thing would be what Caduceus would get involved with, for one thing. More important, though, was the fact that Yasha even thought that Caduceus was involved meant that she had spoken about...something with him.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">At least that was how Beau interpreted it.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Rather than continue to stare at Yasha and possibly show her own hand, Beau wandered over to the open window. Though they were only on the second floor, the view was still pretty nice. A city of beautiful colors during the day, Nicodranas was no less beautiful at night. Brightly colored lanterns hanging from wires lit up the streets, and the sound of singing and dancing (and maybe some fireworks) filtered in through the window.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">'It's a beautiful city,' Yasha said, from right behind Beau. Beau jumped. She hadn't even heard Yasha coming up behind her. 'Much more, ah...vibrant than the place where I am from.'</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">'Yeah,' Beau agreed. 'It's way nice than Kamordah.' A pause. 'I could definitely see myself settling down here one day, but also like...spending some time on the ocean, still doing the Expositor stuff, I guess...I dunno. The future's one of those nebulous things, y'know?'</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">'Yes,' Yasha agreed. 'So much has changed over the last year, that it is difficult to know what the future will hold, and....and who will be in it.' Beau stiffened slightly underneath Yasha's touch, and she knew for a fact that Yasha felt it. Before she could say anything, though, there was a knock at the open door, and a dark-waistcoated Carlos entered with two plates of delicious smelling food.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">'Ah, good evening, ladies,' he said. 'To begin with we have the salt and pepper squid. Would you like me to bring some wine?'</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Yasha looked to Beau, who was apparently the wine expert. 'Is the main fish?' Beau asked.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">'Ah, yes, a wild-caught salmon with a potato medley and sauteed beans,' he told her. Beau thought on it for a moment.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">'Maybe a full-bodied white,' she told him. 'Or a dry rosé. Nothing from the Stassmans.' Carlos raised an eyebrow slightly at the request, as did Yasha. Then, she frowned a little, and Beau wondered if she remembered anything from when she and Obann had carved their way through the rival wine family.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">'They're dicks,' Beau said, shrugging, and that, at least, seemed to be enough to cut through any tension that might have been building. Yasha laughed, and it was beautiful. It was a sound that Beau had rarely heard, but had been more and more frequent in recent weeks.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Carlos returned with a very nice bottle of Lionett wine. He gave Beau a knowing sort of look, and she shrugged. They didn't sell as many bottles of white as they did red. The reds were aged for a lot longer, and the grapes tended to respond more favorably to the harsh soil conditions. But Beau knew for a fact that this particular bottle, even wholesale wouldn't have sold for less than fifty gold. She wondered if Jester was bankrolling this, or if everyone had chipped in. It certainly wouldn't do for Marion to be fitting the bill.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">'Does it pass muster?' Yasha asked, and Beau realized that she'd been staring at the bottle for a solid minute. That seemed like a very un-Yasha turn of phrase.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">'It's fine,' Beau said. 'Not our best vintage. Did you learn that from Fjord?'</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">'Ah...yes...is this the appropriate context?'</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">'Sure,' Beau agreed. She popped the cork on the bottle (narrowly missing the window), and poured each of them a glass. It was probably better to let it decant, but Beau didn't really give a shit, and she was pretty sure that Yasha wouldn't notice anyway. Not that Yasha was unobservant, but she did seem....well, distracted. She was looking at Beau, and hadn't even started on what was frankly some very nice salt and pepper squid.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">But, Beau couldn't let herself anticipate what the evening would hold. She had to make conversation. Any topic would do. 'So, uh...Eiselcross,' she said. 'What do you think?'</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Yasha seemed to consider the matter for several moments. 'Well it does sound very cold,' she said, eventually. 'You may have to wear sleeves.'</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Beau grinned. 'It's been known to happen.' She flexed her arms, showing off the (very tight) sleeves of her suit jacket. She certainly wouldn't be able to do that in a heavy coat, and snowshoes, or whatever it was that people wore in the freezing north. 'I'm just glad I don't have armor to contend with.' Fjord and Caduceus and Jester would probably all have to figure out how to layer over their armor. Yasha, too, if she kept the breastplate on. Yasha, at least, had been without armor before, and, given that Obann had gifted her with the breastplate, Beau was kind of surprised that she still wore it.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">But, people did things in their own time, and there were more than a few areas in which Beau wasn't going to push, knowing that Yasha would get there eventually. It was weird. She'd never been this patient before in a potential relationship. She was always pushing for things to move forward, the end result being she had scared off more than a few people that had showed even a vague interest. In some cases, it was easier to just have a one-night thing, and never think about it again.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">But not with Yasha. Yasha...Beau couldn't even begin to describe the way that Yasha made her feel sometimes. Safe, but adventurous all at once. Like she was floating, but like those strong arms were wrapped around her, grounding her. It was something she had never felt before, not with Keg, not with Reani, not with Tori...</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Yasha was something else altogether. She had finally started on the squid, and frowned slightly, as she chewed it. 'This is very different to spider.'</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">'Well, I'm pretty sure squid is basically just an ocean spider,' Beau said, matter-of-factly, in a voice that was so sincere that it did seem to take Yasha a moment or two to realize that she was joking. There were sea-spiders of course, but none like what they had seen in Xhorhas. The smile that lit up Yasha's face was, like her laugh, something that made Beau's heart sing.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">'Do you think Caleb will want to go?' Yasha asked, and Beau didn't need clarification. She wasn't talking about Eiselcross. She was talking about the Other thing, the thing that they'd all kind of avoided mentioning since it had happened.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Beau shrugged. 'Up to him,' she said. 'I mean, it's probably better for him that he doesn't, but if you want to take out the Cerberus Assembly, then it's the perfect opportunity to gather intel, y'know?'</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">'Right,' Yasha agreed. 'If he does go, though...' she trailed off, and somehow, Beau didn't need words to understand what she meant.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">'The moment Trent tries something funny, I'll fucking kill him,' Beau said, simply. Yasha nodded.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">'I will be right at your side.'</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">There was a sort of comfortable silence for a bit, as they finished the first course, and Carlos brought in the second. The wine was a perfect accompaniment to the fish, the pink flesh of it buttery, and flaky, and delicious. The chef had truly outdone himself.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Ten minutes later, Beau set her knife and fork down on the plate, and rubbed her very full stomach. She had to resist the urge to burp. Not that she thought Yasha would have minded. It just didn't seem the thing to do on what was potentially a first date.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">'Can we—' Yasha started to say, just as Beau said, 'Do you—' and they both stopped, and chuckled a little. 'You go,' Beau said. She kind of just liked hearing the sound of Yasha's voice.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">'Can we talk?' Yasha asked, and Beau's heart began to pulse faster and faster. She wouldn't – couldn't – get her hopes up. She had been burned so many times before.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">'I thought we <em>were</em> talking.' Beau's voice was a near whisper.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">'I wanted to talk about something...well, something specific.' Beau almost laughed. When Jester had talked about creating an opportunity for Yasha to make a move, it had seemed so abstract, so impossible. Now that it was potentially happening, Beau could scarcely believe it. 'Is everything okay?'</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Beau shook her head. 'Nothing, I just...' If she had the wrong end of the stick entirely, if Yasha was going to say something completely different, then Beau was going to look like an idiot. But then, at least she would know. 'I guess....people don't...like, I'm not the kind of person that people like, you know? They think I'm abrasive, or rude, or petulant...whatever.'</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">'I mean.' Yasha's voice was doubtful. 'You are sometimes those things, but I love you anyway.' Her eyes widened as she realized what she had said. Beau felt her mouth sort of drop.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">'You...you <em>love</em> me?' she asked, waiting for the caveat, the “as a friend,” or “sometimes,” or anything that would make any of this make sense.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">But Yasha didn't say any of that. Instead, she said, 'For so long.' Her voice wavered, as she waited for Beau to respond. For once in her life, Beau was speechless. Of all the ways she had imagined this to go, of all the things that she had expected Yasha to say, this was not one of them. People didn't <em>love</em> Beauregard Lionett, they, at best, tolerated her. To have someone say that they loved her without provocation...they had to be lying.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">There was no lie in Yasha's voice.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Tears began to press at the corner of Yasha's eyes. 'If you do not love me, then that is okay. I understand.'</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">'No, no, no,' Beau said quickly. 'Yash—fuck, I'm just...processing this. People don't...people don't say that to me, you know?'</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">'How could they not?' Beau let her hand reach across the table. Yasha grabbed it like she was reaching for a lifeline. Maybe she was.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">'Every night while you were gone, I couldn't sleep a wink,' Beau breathed. 'I just...I kept waiting for a storm that never came. Waiting for you to come home to us...to...' She hesitated. 'To me.' Yasha squeezed her hand.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Dinner seemed to pass quickly after that. Everything they seemed to speak about now was in a new, wonderful light. It wasn't just about the future on their own, but their future with each other.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Because <em>holy shit,</em> Yasha loved her. The mere thought of it was enough to send Beau's mind spinning. She realized, suddenly, that she had forgotten something.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">'Hey Yasha,' she said, and Yasha's eyes lit up. Before Beau had even said anything. 'I love you, too.'</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>